Observations of Adopted Children

lara trace hentz



It’s important to know what happens to adoptee’s minds – these doctors made these observations (below)

The book TWO WORLDS: Lost Children of the Indian Adoption Projects offers a view inside our minds, too… Lara/Trace


1960| FANTASIES AND BEHAVIOUR OF THE ADOPTED CHILD;  Marshall D.Schechter. M.D., Beverly Hills California.

In his paper on the Observations of Adopted Children.

In a series of cases seen by him the percentage of adopted children was 13.3 as compared with the national average of 0.134. This indicates a hundredfold increase of patients in this category compared with what could be expected in the general population.

Toussieng (April 1958) of the out-patients and admissions service said that one third of all patients coming to the Menninger out patient clinic were adopted.

Schechter, goes on to say. The striking thing in most cases was that the feature of their adoptive status played a significant…

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Adoptee voices on Veronica…

The adopted ones blog


I can’t stop thinking about Baby Veronica, and neither can many other adult adoptees.

Absolutely moving post by Peach at “Neither Here Nor There”… 

Baby Veronica…another “Trail of Tears”?

From Julie at Life, Adopted who nailed so many points…

A Girl Loses Her Father: Baby Veronica Adoption Finalized by South Carolina

Round Table at Lost Daughters…

With Sad Hearts, the Lost Daughters Welcome Baby Girl Veronica to the Sisterhood

From The Warrior Princess Diaries who adds her thoughts in a post called…

Lost Daughters Welcomes Baby Veronica to the Tribe

From Trace A DeMeyer over at American Indian Adoptees…

My heartbreak for Lost Bird Veronica: but I know she will find her dad again

You all know my views on the case, and what was triggered in me reading the Transition Plan in the post Everyone Leaves.  If you know of other adoptee blog posts – please link to…

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A Girl Loses Her Father: Baby Veronica Adoption Finalized by South Carolina

For Veronica, who has been callously adopted against the wishes of her paternal family.

Life, Adopted

For Veronica
It is okay to feel confused.
It is okay to feel angry.
It is okay to feel resentful.
It is okay to feel betrayed.
It is okay to feel abandoned.
It is okay to feel disconnected.
It is okay to feel lost.
It is okay to feel like a pawn.
It is okay to feel that something was taken from you.
It is okay to feel you had no control.
It is okay to feel that your voice was silenced.
It is okay to feel that the system completely failed you.
All of these feelings are completely normal under the circumstances.
You are adopted. But you are not alone. You are not the only one.
Your fellow adoptees will be here when you need us.
We will listen.
We will understand.
We will support you.
We will lift you up.
We are your community.Watercolor Tree Email Small 132 x 160Was it you or…

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How much did you cost? The literal price of adoption.

This is a question I first encountered being asked over on the AAAFC boards some time ago. Sadly that thread has since been lost, so I thank @TransracialEyes for asking the question again in a more publicly accessible setting. 🙂


Now that the crowdfunding craze has caught up with adoption, it is normal within adoption mediation to talk about “sticker shock” concerning the price of adopting children. I realize that just once I would like to see an article that discusses our shock at how much we set our adoptive parents back.

In my case, outside of airfare between Iran and Lebanon (where my adoptive father was working at the time), I have a cancelled check for $300 in among my paperwork. This was a “gift donation” to the orphanage, though everyone I talk to was basically shaken down in a similar way, and these “gifts” were expected to continue beyond the date of adoption, and were often a yearly contribution at Christmas or our birthdays.

$300 in 1963, adjusted for inflation [inflation calculator] is $2,283.77. I think I was pretty much a bargain, compared to today’s adoptions.

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Sibling revelry

Pushing on a Rope

Catherine and I tease Basil because he likes to say, “When you see it, you see it.”

Today, I saw it.

At lunch with my newly discovered brother, Chris.

We’d barely sat down when Chris said, “You’ve got to see the resemblance.”

I admitted that while I saw a bit of it around the mouth, I wasn’t so sure.

He wouldn’t be swayed. Pointing to his cheekbones and the shape of his eyes, he said, “When I saw your pictures, I knew right away you were my sister.

“And they,” he said, pointing to our mother, Pat; Basil; Catherine and Chris’ wife, Jill, “are right now noticing how we both use our hands the same way when we talk.”

Moments later, Pat remarked that we’d each raised a single eyebrow at the same time. Mine was the left one, his was the right, but no matter. They were choreographed in…

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Be an ADOPTEE advocate!

Be an ADOPTEE advocate, not an adoptION advocate.

Be an ADOPTEE advocate, not an adoptION advocate.

There are so many people who prattle on about how they advocate for adoption, yet why does adoption – which is nothing more than a profitable Institution – need such advocates?

It’s not adoption that needs advocating for, but the ADOPTEES to whom adoption is done to.

It is the ADOPTEES who are the people living this who need to have their rights protected – or even instated.

It is the ADOPTEES whose voices are stifled by accusations of bitterness should they dare say anything other than flattering towards adoption.

Adoption is an Institution.

ADOPTEES are the people.

Be an ADOPTEE advocate, not an adoptION advocate!


You’re not adopted? But you don’t look like your parents at all! What’s it like not being adopted? Are you sad because you weren’t chosen?

Knowing why you look that way and where many of the things you like and dislike about your appearance come from, being able to see these things in the people in your house and in the people you see at family reunions: What’s that like? Do you feel like a part of your family? Does having the same eyes or nose or laugh as others make you feel ordinary, not special? Do you ever think about other, unreal parents?

Is it embarrassing to fill out all the paperwork before your first visit to a new doctor? What’s that like? Did an employee ever fail to notice your “not adopted” note on the file and ask in front of everyone how you know all this family…

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