Sibling revelry

Pushing on a Rope

Catherine and I tease Basil because he likes to say, “When you see it, you see it.”

Today, I saw it.

At lunch with my newly discovered brother, Chris.

We’d barely sat down when Chris said, “You’ve got to see the resemblance.”

I admitted that while I saw a bit of it around the mouth, I wasn’t so sure.

He wouldn’t be swayed. Pointing to his cheekbones and the shape of his eyes, he said, “When I saw your pictures, I knew right away you were my sister.

“And they,” he said, pointing to our mother, Pat; Basil; Catherine and Chris’ wife, Jill, “are right now noticing how we both use our hands the same way when we talk.”

Moments later, Pat remarked that we’d each raised a single eyebrow at the same time. Mine was the left one, his was the right, but no matter. They were choreographed in…

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Be an ADOPTEE advocate!

Be an ADOPTEE advocate, not an adoptION advocate.

Be an ADOPTEE advocate, not an adoptION advocate.

There are so many people who prattle on about how they advocate for adoption, yet why does adoption – which is nothing more than a profitable Institution – need such advocates?

It’s not adoption that needs advocating for, but the ADOPTEES to whom adoption is done to.

It is the ADOPTEES who are the people living this who need to have their rights protected – or even instated.

It is the ADOPTEES whose voices are stifled by accusations of bitterness should they dare say anything other than flattering towards adoption.

Adoption is an Institution.

ADOPTEES are the people.

Be an ADOPTEE advocate, not an adoptION advocate!


You’re not adopted? But you don’t look like your parents at all! What’s it like not being adopted? Are you sad because you weren’t chosen?

Knowing why you look that way and where many of the things you like and dislike about your appearance come from, being able to see these things in the people in your house and in the people you see at family reunions: What’s that like? Do you feel like a part of your family? Does having the same eyes or nose or laugh as others make you feel ordinary, not special? Do you ever think about other, unreal parents?

Is it embarrassing to fill out all the paperwork before your first visit to a new doctor? What’s that like? Did an employee ever fail to notice your “not adopted” note on the file and ask in front of everyone how you know all this family…

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